Newcastle

Wolves 1 Newcastle 2: Jonas Gutierrez Wonder Goal Ends Magpies’ Molineux Woes

Ian Edwardsby Ian Edwards

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Jonas Gutierrez put the gloss on Newcastle's best start for 17-years with a marvellous individual goal to end a miserable run at Molineux. The Argentine's solo effort towards the end of the first half doubled the lead after Demba Ba had headed the visitors in front after 18 minutes. And that was enough of a cushion to ensure that Alan Pardew's side ended a 53-year search for a victory at Molineux. The last time they won in the top flight at the venue was back in 1958 and they had to endure a nervous last couple of minutes after Steven Fletcher gave Wolves late hope with his eighth goal in 12 games. Tweeter FourSquare iPhone GOALS: 16 mins: Yohan Cabaye's corner lofted to the near post is met perfectly by Ba to power his header under the cross bar (0-1). 39 mins: Gutierrez evades four challenges with a run from 40-yards out before a precision left foot finish (0-2). 87mins: Matt Jarvis provides the cross to the far post for Steven Fletcher to head in from six-yards. OTHER HIGHLIGHTS: 2 mins: Jamie O'Hara's swerving free-kick forces Tim Krul into an excellent late save low to his right. 10 mins: Kevin Doyle lets fly with a volley from Jarvis' cross, but fails to get good enough connection to beat Krul. 12 mins: Fletcher provides the perfect headed flick on but Krul races off his line to prevent Doyle lifting his shot over him. 19 mins: Doyle's shot from inside the area is deflected by Steven Taylor and Krul somehow sticks out a leg to save. 29 mins: Cheik Tiote hits a powerful 20-yard shot and Wayne Hennessey makes an uncomfortable save. 32 mins: Wolves escape again as Leon Best's cross to the near leaves Ba with a simple tap-in but the striker mis-kicks. 57 mins: Fletcher sets up O'Hara on the edge of the, but the midfielder drags his shot wide. 65 mins: Krul makes a double save to deny Fletcher from close range and Adam Hammill from the folow up. WHAT IT MEANS: Wolves were desperate to avoid going into the international break with a fourth successive defeat, but they were rarely at the races. McCarthy has to pick his team up in time to face bitter rivals West Bromwich Albion in two weeks. Newcastle deserve a break, but probably don't want anything to disrupt their momentum at the moment. REACTION: Pardew felt his side were good enough for all three points: "I thought we played well in the first half and gave ourselves a platform. We lost control a little bit in the second half. "Wolves were very very good, but you have to say that we deserved something from the game." On the performance of Tim Krul: "He had more work to do in this game than he had in the previous three or four that is how good Wolves were and why you need a good goalkeeper. "But we should really have killed off the game. We had big chances and we should have scored the third goal and there would have been no grandstand finish." On the decision to rule out a possible Wolves equaliser because the ball had gone out of play before Doyle's shot: "In the end we were fortunate with that decision. I have seen it and it is really tight. I am not sure why he flagged, whether it was for offside or for the ball out." On the penalty that Wolves were denied in the first half: "I saw the fans reaction and that is why I thought it was a penalty. I had already accepted that one. That might not have been the worst thing to happen to us. Half-time when you are 2-0 up is a difficult psychological situation. I think the players relexed a little and were comfortable." On being third in the league: "That is an outstanding achievement by not only the players but all the staff around me and it sets up a brilliant game against Spurs, but we will not get carried away. "We have 15 points from seven games and we have another 25 points to get. That is our first target and we are not looking any further than that." McCarthy was less than impressed with the performance of Halsey and his officials: "When you are having a tough time you rely on people getting decisions right and quite clearly they did not. For the penalty Mark Halsey said he did not want to guess, but he obviously did and he guessed wrong. "The penalty was not even close. He was a yard inside the 18-yard box. I am not going to blame the the officials, because we conceded two poor goals, but I would be justified in doing so. "When you have worked as hard as my lads have to get an equaliser, to get the second decision, when the ball was ajudged out of play, that tends to rip the heart out of you. "The ball was clearly still in." On the honesty of Pardew over the decisions: "Alan is an honest bloke and he has been honest about it. He cannot do much more really, because he would end up looking silly. "He has seen them and he knows what has happened." On the overall performance: "We gave away two goals out of the blue. We have to defend corners better than we did for the first goal. "It is disappointing because we created a lot of chances and we could have scored twice before they scored."

 

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Wolves v Newcastle Preview: McCarthy Looking For Response to Win Back Fans

Ian Edwardsby Ian Edwards

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PREMIER LEAGUE: MOLINEUX, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2011. KICK-OFF: 1500 BST After an impressive start, Wolves have been given a reality check and owe their supporters a performance to make amends for their previous home league game. Mick McCarthy's side have lost their last three games and their most recent at Molineux was a dreadful 3-0 defeat by Queens Park Rangers. They are on a mission to make amends for that before they head off for an international break, especially as they return to face bitter rivals West Bromwich Albion in two weeks time. McCarthy has never wavered from his stance that Wolves' start was nothing to get too carried away about and he is equally determined to remain calm after a disappointing run of results. Victory will be hard to come by against Alan Pardew's side, who are making a mockery of pre-season predictions of another season of struggle at St James' Park. They are unbeaten in their last nine Premier League outings, which is their longest run for nine years. Newcastle have conceded the fewest goals in the Premier League so far and have avoided defeat in their last four away games so will be in buoyant mood as they look to end a poor run of results at Molineux. Tweeter FourSquare iPhone Key Match-up: Kevin Doyle v Steven Taylor: Doyle has recently signed a new contract at Wolves and there are few more committed players to the cause than the Republic of Ireland striker. He will be even more motivated to celebrate his new deal with a goal to add to his solitary effort so far this season. Taylor is enjoying a new lease of life under Pardew and has been talked about as a possible England international and he will have to justify that praise to keep Doyle from having a major influence on the game. Form Guide: Last season's stormy encounter produced 12 yellow card, more than any other Premier League fixture in 2010. Wolves are unbeaten in their last six home games against Newcastle. Odds: Wolves 6/4, Newcastle 15/8, Draw 9/2 WOLVES: Matt Jarvis insists that the mood in the Wolves' dressing room remains as up-beat as ever, despite losing their last three matches to puncture an impressive start. And he acknowledges the fact the players owe the fans a performance to make up for the unacceptable display against QPR the last time they were in front of their own fans. Jarvis insists it was a one-off bad day at the office and said: "We all know it was a bad performance against QPR and that's been the only one. "We're at home and we're going to want to get out there and get the fans behind us. We're keen to get back out there and pick up a decent result. "The confidence is still there. We've been in the league for three seasons now and we know what it is about. "We know how difficult it is to pick up points and how you can go through spells like this. "It's a case of being solid and making sure we get some results on the board and get another little run together. "It's particularly important to do that when you are going into an international break. "It's never a nice feeling to go two weeks without a game on the back of a bad result. We want to get a good result against Newcastle to go into the international break on a high." Strategy: Steven Fletcher is fit again after a groin injury as his return will be crucial. The Scotland striker has hit 7 goals in his last 11 games and without him Wolves lack a cutting edge. He dovetails well with Doyle and if Jarvis can provide the kind of service he is capable of Wolves will be able to trouble Newcastle's solid back four. Injury Update: Richard Stearman has a bruised toe and Sylvain Ebanks-Blake has not recovered from a knee injury. Kevin Foley (ankle) is out for another three weeks.

 

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Newcastle 3 Blackburn 1: Demba Ba Adds to Steve Kean’s Worries

John Wardleby John Wardle

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Demba Ba, Newcastle UnitedDemba Ba claimed a hat-trick as Newcastle continued their fine start to the Premier League season, while adding to the pressure on the Blackburn manager Steve Kean. The striker signed from West Ham in the summer struck twice in three minutes before David Hoilett gave Blackburn some hope with a well-taken goal shortly before the interval. But, after hitting the bar through Martin Olsson, Blackburn's hopes of at least a point vanished when Ba struck again with a header that looped over Paul Robinson. Blackburn finished with ten men Martin Olsson was sent off in the 70th minute for a foul on Best - and some of their fans were soon targeting Kean as they chanted "you don't know what you're doing". THE GOALS: 27 mins: Ba collects a cross from Leon Best and holds off a defender Scott Dann before turning in to power a shot past Paul Robinson 1-0. 30 mins: Ba again, this time from close range after Steven Taylor heads Cheik Tiote's cross back across goal 2-0. 37 mins: Ryan Taylor gives the ball away and a Rovers' counter-attack ends with David Hoilett powering in a shot from the edge of the area 2-1. 54 mins: Ba completes his hat-trick with a header that drifts over Robinson, who is under pressure from Best. OTHER HIGHLIGHTS: 6 mins: Ba surges forwards and drills a shot just over the Blackburn bar. 20 mins: Best lashes a first-time effort over the same bar from 18 yards. 23 mins: David Hoilett fails to connect at the far post with a cross from Martin Olsson. 41 mins: Best leaps high, but can only head over a cross from Ryan Taylor. 52 mins: Ryan Taylor's fine header prevents Yakubu an equaliser. 53 mins: Martin Olsson loops a shot over Tim Krul, but it bounces on top of the bar. 70 mins: Olsson is sent off for cynically bringing down Best. 78 mins: Best turns inside before firing over the bar - just one of several opportunities falling to the striker. REACTION: Newcastle manager Alan Pardew was delighted with the performance of his side: "I thought we were brilliant. We controlled the game and there were some tremendous performances. We controlled the game and were magnficent all day. We are unbeaten and looked sound. We could have scored more than three. The club is good health at the moment. I wwould be nice tohave a season when there is a good feeling about the place." On Ba and his fellow-striker Best: "I thought our two strikers were great. Demba Bas had a quiet start when he went through Ramada and it was difficult for him, but he put in a terrific performance. Strikers thrive on goals and scoring those in front of the Toon Army will have done him a power of good. Leon could have had a hat-trick as well and they work well as a pair." On a brief appearance by Hatem Ben Arfa: "It was nice to see him on the pitch becasue he can do things that our other players can't do. He gave a nice little cameo. Perhaps Peter Lovenkrands could have gone on, but Hatem has had a tough time with injuries and I thought it would be good for him to get a reaction from the fans." Blackburn manager Kean was furious about United's third goal: "The whole momentum of the game swung from that moment. I struggle to see how it was not a free-kick for us. I feel a bit aggreived because Scott Dann was going to clear off the line and Leon Best bundled him over. Martin Olsson protested to the referee and was booked - and eventually ended up with another yellow card. It was the turning point of the game because we felt it was a clear foul." On how his players will react to another defeat: !We have a group of players that will know they will stick together if things are going against us."

 

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Newcastle v Blackburn Preview: Alan Pardew out to end Rovers Jinx

Jason Mellorby Jason Mellor

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PREMIER LEAGUE: ST JAMES' PARK, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 24, 2011. KICK-OFF: 1500 BST. Every good run must come to an end, and this is where Blackburn's hold over Newcastle on Tyneside will finally run its course. Remember where you read it first. Somewhat bafflingly, the visitors arrive at St James' Park searching for a sixth consecutive league win in this particular corner of the North-East. It can't last. It won't last. The smart money is on the hosts extending their unbeaten start to the campaign to halt the mini rally currently enjoyed by Steve Kean's team. September 2004 was the last time Rovers failed to win in front of the Gallowgate, but even despite showing signs of hitherto unseen life in the last week, expect them to return empty-handed across the Pennines. Tweeter FourSquare iPhone For their part, Blackburn will be keen to exploit a Newcastle defence that shipped as many goals - three - in two hours of Carling Cup football at Nottingham Forest as it had in the previous six games. With manager Alan Pardew again set to ring the changes after victory on the banks of the Trent, it will be a much more familiar looking line-up - the one that fought-out a 1-1 draw at Aston Villa, in fact, barring any mishaps - that returns to action on home soil after a seeming eternity on the road. "We've not had an easy start," Pardew insisted as his side sit fourth. "We've had five away games and only two at home - that's been lost a little bit - so even more so, the players have done terrifically well. "Unless we pick up any injuries in training, it will be the same team that started our last Premier League game." Key Match-Up: Fabricio Coloccini v Yakubu: A battle between two players who scored on their last start, though it'll largely be the former attempting to prevent the latter adding to his two goals against Arsenal. The Newcastle skipper's appearance on the scoresheet with the winner Nottingham Forest, however, underlines the Argentine's threat going forward. Form Guide: Newcastle remain unbeaten in seven games in all competitions. Blackburn arrive in with back-to-back wins against two very different London teams - the might of Leyton Orient, and Arsenal. Match Odds: Newcastle 5/6 Blackburn 7/2 Draw 12/5

 

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Aston Villa 1 Newcastle 1: Honours Even as Best Cancels out Agbonlahor Strike

Brendan McLoughlinby Brendan McLoughlin

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Gabriel Agbonlahor Newcastle striker Leon Best denied Gabriel Agbonlahor the plaudits on his 200th Aston Villa start to leave both sides with a share of the spoils and their unbeaten Premier League records intact. In-form striker Agbonlahor had given Villa the lead with his third goal of the campaign with a low finish from inside the area after 13 minutes at Villa Park. The Magpies were good value for a point, however, and a minute after Yohan Cabaye hit the crossbar, Best lashed in from close range to leave the Magpies with nine points from their first five games, two ahead of Villa. And Cabaye almost snatched the points late on with a vicious volley which was saved superbly by Shay Given. THE GOALS: 13 mins: Fabio Coloccini blocks Agbonlahor's volley from Barry Bannan's cross but the striker reacts quickest to squeeze a low shot underneath Tim Krul. 57 mins: Cheick Tiote deep cross to the back post finds Best and he taps in after his initial header is parried by Shay Given. THE HIGHLIGHTS: 7 mins: Best releases Cabaye 25 yards from goal but his low drive swerves inches past the left post. 26 mins: Charles N'Zogbia sends Stiliyan Petrov clean through down the left, the Villa skipper unselfishly squares to the unmarked Darren Bent only for him to fire wide. 47 mins: Agbonlahor outmuscles Taylor 15 yards from goal, however his low drilled shot creeps agonisingly beyond the right post. 56 mins: Cabaye threatens again when he rattles the crossbar with a 25-yard drive. 71 mins: A Steven Taylor slip leaves Bent with just Krul to beat but the forward elects to lob the goalkeeper, allowing the defender time to recover.

 

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Aston Villa v Newcastle Preview: Stiliyan Petrov Claims to Have Silenced Critics

Brendan McLoughlinby Brendan McLoughlin

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Stiliyan PetrovPREMIER LEAGUE: VILLA PARK, SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 17 2011. KICK-OFF: 1500 BST After such a traumatic 2011 thus far for both these proud clubs, not even their own supporters would have expected them to meet at this stage of the season both unbeaten and looking ahead with cautious optimism. But Alex McLeish's controversial defection across the Second City already appears an afterthought after an impressive start to the campaign. McLeish has released the shackles on his squad and blown away the negativity that afflicted them during the end of Gerard Houllier's tortured reign. Villa also possess a spirit that was sadly lacking under the Frenchman's bewildering regime and McLeish's honeymoon period is still intact. Newcastle also remain unbeaten and are among this season's surprise packages so far, their eight point tally pushing them up to fourth after their best start to a season for 15 years. The North-East club were tipped to struggle after a summer lacking any significant signings, while several high profile players left. Despite that, they have silenced their doubters, largely due to an impressive defensive record which has seen them keep three clean sheets from four games. Something has to give here, surely, as both clubs attempt to continue confounding expectations. Tweeter FourSquare iPhone Key Match-Up: Darren Bent v Steven Taylor. The onus is even more on Bent to deliver goals after the injury to Emile Heskey and his pace is certain to create problems for Taylor, who has impressed in a rock-solid Newcastle defence so far this term. Form Guide: Villa have not lost a home game since the nightmare afternoon endured by Houllier in March when Wolves completed a 1-0 smash and grab. Newcastle fought out a brave 0-0 draw at QPR on Monday night but have not won at Villa Park since February 2006. Odds: Villa 10/11 Newcastle 16/5 Draw 12/5 ASTON VILLA Stiliyan Petrov produced a stunning strike at Goodison Park last weekend but is still on a mission to score more goals for McLeish. The Bulgaria international only scored twice last term and is already halfway towards equalling that tally after his long-range effort against Everton. Petrov was widely expected to be facing the axe under new boss McLeish but has impressed with his drive and commitment so far this season in a relatively new role. But he wants to silence the critics who bemoan his lack of goals and ensure he is a mainstay in the Villa engine room. He said: "I was delighted with the goal. I am criticised for not getting enough goals and against Everton I scored a good goal. "There were a lot of people in front of me when I hit the shot so I wasn't sure it had even gone in. "People have been on my back about it but it is normal to get people on your back if you don't score goals. "But that is the way it goes and I hope this season I am able to prove them wrong. I have been moved into a position which is a bit more advanced and I've been given license to get forward." Strategy: Heskey's injury is certain to force McLeish into a tactical reshuffle. A rigid 4-4-2 is certain to be removed, perhaps in favour of Bent playing in a lone striker role with Charles N'Zogbia and Marc Albrighton on the wings with Gabby Agbonlahor playing in the "hole" behind Bent. Barry Bannan, so impressive against Liechtenstein for Scotland, might also get his first start of the season. Injury Update: McLeish will aim to continue his unbeaten start without former England international Heskey, who is facing three weeks out with a hamstring injury. Jermaine Jenas, signed on loan from Tottenham, will miss out with a thigh injury and is pencilled in for a debut in the Carling Cup against Bolton on Tuesday. Carlos Cuellar is still weeks away from a return after a knee injury.

 

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Queens Park Rangers 0 Newcastle United 0: New Look Rangers Held to a Draw

Ben Huntby Ben Hunt

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Jay Bothroyd, QPR, Newcastle united, loftus road, september 12, 2011The new Queens Park Rangers chairman, Tony Fernandes, witnessed his side mark the start of his reign at the club with an entertaining, but also frustrating, draw at Loftus Road. Entertaining because the club's manager, Neil Warnock, included five new signings in his starting line-up. Warnock also made the bold decision to name former Newcastle midfielder, Joey Barton, as his new captain. Together the new arrivals had plenty of chances to make this a comfortable win for Rangers. At times they played the expansive style of football that had been promised at this ground for a number of years. But it was also frustrating, for by half-time they should really have been out of sight but for some excellent Newcastle defending and a little hard luck. Newcastle looked better after the break, but in truth they will settle for a point after being on the back-foot for long spells of this match. OTHER HIGHLIGHTS: 6 mins: Adel Taarabt has the first shot at goal and forces Tim Krul to make a save. 9 mins: Armand Traore's cross from the left is headed over by Shaun Wright-Phillips. 13 mins: Leon Best has a shot from the edge of the box that is turned around the post by Paddy Kenny. 15 mins: Jay Bothroyd fires over from six-yards from Wright-Phillips's cross. 22 mins: Bothroyd goes close again as Wright-Phillips and Taarabt combine well. 27 mins: Alejandro Faurlin's shot from 10 yards is deflected over the bar. 28 mins: Bothroyd has a header that is cleared off the line by Danny Simpson. 39 mins: Wright-Phillips makes an excellent run and his exquisite chip is cleared off the line by Steven Taylor. 66 mins: Shaun Derry headed wide from Barton's corner. 86 mins: Faurlin fouls Gabriel Obertan on the edge of the box but the free-kick hit the wall. WHAT IT MEANS: QPR now have the players to put on a show but the end result is still the same and they are still without a home win this season. There is no doubt Rangers will have a couple of stand-out performances this season thanks to their attacking threat. However, they look far from solid at the back - even with the addition of Luke Young, Traore and Anton Ferdinand. Newcastle were the opposite. They looked below par in attack but their defence and, to an extent, their central midfield were solid. They are also up to fourth in the Premier League table after they maintained their undefeated start to the campaign. The jury is still out on Gabriel Obertan. He looked out of his depth here and it is difficult to see how manager Alan Pardew will succeed where Manchester United manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, failed. REACTION: Rangers's manager Warnock was encouraged by his team's performance: "To seem them perform like that - that's what I expected of them. They fitted in really well because they're good players. "I don't think we're used to quality like that and with the crosses coming in. We're learning all the time and that's a credit to us. We did what I expected us to do." On his new signings: "Luke Young, Anton Ferdinand defended well. Joey Barton epitomised everything that was good about us. He brought the best out of Faurlin and I don't think I've ever seen Shaun Derry in the box before - he should have scored a couple of goals. "I told Shaun Wright-Phillips when I signed him I think he can score goals., I think he can get double figures this season. On Barton's performance: "We gave it our best shot and it was entertaining. I told Joey just play the game, not the occasion and he did that. It brought the best out of him. Joey epitomised everything we did right, we put in a full 90 minutes." Newcastle manager Pardew was pleased with his team's point: "I am not disappointed we did not get any more from this game because we did not deserve anymore. "We went with two strikers but with all the exuberance here with all the players they have brought in, maybe I should have helped my central midfielder out. "Offensively we never created enough to win the game, but on the plus side, defensively we showed what we have been doing all season. "We don't give much away and there is a spirit in the group that makes it hard for teams to beat us. "Our flair players were just a little bit off-key tonight. Sometimes when you don't play well, you get beat. We didn't get beaten tonight." On his players' attitude: "One of the players mentioned in the dressing room that we would have lost this game last year. We have a lot of discipline defensively and our two centre-halves are playing well." On being fourth in the table: "It is disappointing that we have made a great start to the season and then get in front of the nation on TV and then do not perform very well. "We are disappointed and perhaps we should not be because I have been here many times and know how hard it can be." On making any loan signings: "We have a good group of strikers here. Demba Ba is getting up to speed now and made a nice little cameo. "I have no intentions of brining another striker in. We have Hatem Ben Arfa coming back and we could have done with his flair on that pitch." Tweeter FourSquare iPhone

 

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QPR v Newcastle: All Eyes on Joey Barton on his Loftus Road Debut

Mike McGrathby Mike McGrath

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PREMIER LEAGUE: LOFTUS ROAD, MONDAY SEPTEMBER 12, 2011. KICK-OFF 2000 BST There is only one place to start. All eyes will be on Joey Barton when he makes his QPR debut against the club that allowed him to leave on a free transfer last month. Barton was Newcastle's player of the year last season but his outspoken attacks on the club contributed to his departure and Neil Warnock was the man to take a chance on the midfielder. Warnock believes Barton can play for England again, and that the top clubs in England would be after the 29-year-old if he did not come with baggage. The last time Barton was at Loftus Road, Newcastle fans were jubilant after sealing the Championship title and looking forward to a return to the Premier League. Magpies fans can understandably feel bitter after losing their best player for nothing, and it will be interesting to see what reception he is given by away supporters when he makes his debut for his new club. Warnock could also play his other signings such as Shaun Wright-Phillips, Anton Ferdinand and Luke Young. Tweeter FourSquare iPhone Key Match-Up: Barton v Cheik Tiote: Barton will be expected to put in a few big challenges early on to stamp his authority on the game. Tiote will be matching him tackle for tackle, attempting to control the central areas. Form Guide: QPR recovered from a disastrous start to the season against Bolton by winning against Everton. Then they were on the wrong end of a 2-0 scoreline against Wigan, but there is renewed optimism since Tony Fernandes' takeover and high-profile signings. Newcastle have started the season superbly, with two wins and a draw against Arsenal. Match Odds: QPR 7/5, Newcastle 2/1, Draw 9/4 QPR: Manager Warnock has been celebrating the coup of snatching Barton on a free transfer. "If he didn't have a bit of baggage, I'm sure QPR wouldn't have been able to sign him, he'd be at a top-four club without a shadow of a doubt," he said. "You can't tell me he wouldn't enhance at least three of the top four clubs because he would." Warnock has no problem with signing a player whose temperament has been called into question. "All players with fiery natures wouldn't have that passion that you need if you tried to stop them," he said. "I'm the same on the bench. You don't change what you are, you just don't want to go over the boundaries. "I've told the players I don't want to stop the fire in their bellies, the passion. Different people have different ways of showing it. Without it they wouldn't be the same players. I hope they all keep what they've got. "It's just great to have him on board. He'll be first on the teamsheet and I'm sure he would want it to be like that." Warnock feels London will be the perfect setting for Barton, rather than Newcastle where there is constant scrutiny. He added: "I thought London might just tempt Joey. What with his Tweets, I know that he likes museums and oil paintings! So I thought it might tempt him and his partner to come down to London." Strategy: Difficult to say given the new signings Warnock has at his disposal. Barton will be box-to-box and tough-tackling, Wright-Phillips will provide pace. Adel Taarabt will provide flair. Injury Update: Warnock will check on a few players carrying knocks but he has no new concerns to worry about.

 

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Newcastle’s Mike Ashley Finally Faces up to his Knockers

Jason Mellorby Jason Mellor

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At the risk of sounding like a 1970s stand-up comedian, we all know that Mike Ashley has his knockers, but this is ridiculous. Perhaps it was a carefully planned publicity stunt after all. No sooner are photos (not for the squeamish, mind) leaked of the somewhat rotund Newcastle United owner stripping off at a colleague's birthday bash, than the club launches its latest marketing venture, namely, a new range of black and white branded lingerie. And in doing so, they have left themselves open to a thousand puns. Who are we to decline such a tempting invitation? Here are some we've come up with at FanHouse UK, feel free to add your own. If not, be warned. We'll have your guts for garters. Anyway, we'll keep it brief - we're on fire already! - because we know that the only reason you've clicked on to this page is to gawp at the accompanying model. Tweeter FourSquare iPhone We were going to lure you here under false pretences, and instead show you a pic of Ashley's impromptu strip, but hey, we're not that sick and twisted. The man still had his socks on, for god's sake. We're still waiting for the club to send us an official photo of one of their lovely Geordie lasses modelling the new merchandise to display here. So in the meantime, click on to their website at nufc.co.uk to feast your eyes. We promise, there's not a photo of a naked Ashley in sight. Just in case you were wondering, the above photo isn't him, either. He's not had his tattoo done just yet. Give it time, though, we're sure he'll come round to the idea eventually. And before you ask, given the number of recent transfer arrivals at St James' Park with strong Gallic links, yes, French knickers are available.

 

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Grading the Transfer Window: Newcastle, Norwich, QPR, Stoke, Sunderland

FanHouse UKby FanHouse UK

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Joey BartonContinuing our look at the transfer dealing conducted before the August 31st deadline, FanHouse UK picks out the good, the bad and the ugly deals made by newly-promoted Norwich and QPR, Stoke and north-east duo Newcastle and Sunderland. As ever, it is a mixed bag although Tony Pulis and Neil Warnock seem to have come out of the experience positively ... at least if our experts are to be believed. In part one, we looked at the dealings of Arsenal, Aston Villa, Blackburn Rovers, Bolton Wanderers and Chelsea. Read it here. For part two - Everton, Fulham, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United - click here. NEWCASTLE The promised spending spree with the proceeds of Andy Carroll's £35 million move to Liverpool failed to emerge, although that didn't stop Alan Pardew from bringing in several new faces. The pick of the arrivals appears to be Yohan Cabaye, although the Italian Davide Santon is yet to have a chance to show what he can do. The jury remains out on Demba Ba and Sylvain Marveaux. You couldn't help but laugh at a repeat of their classic last-minute bids for at least two 'targets' they had no hope of landing given the ridiculously short time span they gave themselves. Highlight: France international midfielder Cabaye, a double-winner with Lille last season, could be one the top four rue missing out on. Lowlight: The departures of Kevin Nolan and Joey Barton. Grade: C Tweeter FourSquare iPhone NORWICH Deadline day passed quietly for the Canaries, who merely moved on fringe man Cody McDonald to Coventry, because manager Paul Lambert had been busy getting men in much earlier. The Scot added fresh faces who were keen to prove themselves in the top division - Steve Morison, James Vaughan, Anthony Pilkington, Bradley Johnson, Elliott Bennett and Daniel Ayala - and borrowed Kyle Naughton from Tottenham and Ritchie de Laet from Manchester United for added solidarity to a squad that had journeyed from League One to the Premier League in the space of little more than a year. Highlight: None of the new men were headline-grabbers, but that was intended. Lowlight: Ayala getting injured after an unconvincing start. Grade: C+ QPR Neil Warnock had a frustrating period after guiding QPR to promotion last season, struggling to get players in of the quality he required. DJ Campbell and Jay Bothroyd were shrewd moves but everything changed when Tony Fernandes completed his takeover of the club. Joey Barton arrived from Newcastle, then on a frenzied deadline-day, Anton Ferdinand, Shaun Wright-Phillips and Jason Puncheon were added to the squad. Suddenly, there was an expectation of survival this season rather than a relegation. Adel Taarabt was also kept at the club despite interest from Paris St -Germain. Highlight: Signing Newcastle player-of-the-year Barton. Lowlight: Everything before Fernandes' takeover. Grade: B+ STOKE Tony Pulis, as per usual, kept it late but was emphatically rewarded for his patience with the club record transfer of Spurs striker Peter Crouch. He required similar levels of brinkmanship to land his White Hart Lane team-mate Wilson Palacios, while his pursuit of Cameron Jerome was finally ended after two years. Signing free agents Jonathan Woodgate and Matthew Upson already looks a masterstroke and Stoke's transfer business ensures they are on course to challenge for a top eight place in the Premier League. Highlight: It has to be Crouch. Many scoffed when it emerged Pulis wanted the England international but his arrival is a sign of how far the Potters have progressed. Lowlight: Stoke chairman Peter Coates's interview regarding the possibility of signing Carlton Cole wasn't too clever. Grade: B+

 

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Deadline Day Round-up: Craig Bellamy In, Raul Meireles Out at Liverpool

Brendan McLoughlinby Brendan McLoughlin

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Craig BellamyLiverpool were the focus of a dramatic end to deadline day after Craig Bellamy and Raul Meireles completed 11th hour moves in and out of Anfield. Meireles' departure to Chelsea on a four-year deal for a £12 million fee came as a particularly surprising development after news the Portuguese star had handed in a transfer request came little over half an hour before the 11pm deadline. Meanwhile, Wales striker Bellamy, who spent last season on loan at Championship side Cardiff, is back at Anfield four years after leaving the Merseyside and will wear the No. 39 shirt. QPR and Stoke had appeared in the frame to sign Bellamy earlier in the day, however the chance to return to the club where he spent a controversial year in 2007 proved too good to turn down for the 32-year-old. Further developments in a breathless day at Anfield saw Joe Cole snub late interest from Aston Villa to join Lille on a season-long loan, Christian Poulsen join French side Evian and David Ngog make a permanent move to Bolton. Tweeter FourSquare iPhone Sunderland signed Nicklas Bendtner from Arsenal on a season-long loan, while Villa signed Jermaine Jenas and Alan Hutton on a respective season-long loan and permanent deal from Tottenham. Spurs managed to keep hold of one of their key men in Luka Modric, whom manager Harry Redknapp claimed was the subject of a rejected £40 million bid from Chelsea, althought a move for Bolton's Gary Cahill failed to materialise for the White Hart Lane outfit. They did, however, succeed in landing Football Writers' Association Player of the Year Scott Parker in a £5 million move from West Ham. David Bentley has headed in the opposite direction on a season-long loan, while the Hammers also signed Henri Lansbury from Arsenal on a similar deal and Guy Demel from Hamburg. Manchester City completed their shock move for free agent Owen Hargreaves, with the former Manchester United midfielder arriving on a one-year contract, while Carlos Tevez has remained at the Etihad Stadium. QPR signed Shaun Wright-Phillips from Manchester City and Anton Ferdinand from Sunderland. Scott Dann left Birmingham for Blackburn in a £6 million move which could rise to £8 million. Rovers also recruited striker Yakubu from Everton, who have attempted to offset the loss of Mikel Arteta to Arsenal by signing Royston Drenthe from Real Madrid and Argentine striker Denis Stracqualursi from Tigre on season-long loans. The Toffees also sold striker Jermaine Beckford to big-spending Championship side Leicester in a £3 million transfer. Wigan signed Shaun Maloney on a two-year deal from Celtic for £1 million as well as signing Chelsea's 21-year-old Dutch left-back Patrick van Aanholt on a season-long loan. The Blues also allowed Gael Kakuta to join Bolton on loan. Fulham fought off late competition from Newcastle to land Costa Rica forward Bryan Ruiz from FC Twente in a move worth around £10.6 million. The Cottagers also signed experienced Juventus defender Zdenek Grygera and former Porto player Orlando Sa on free transfers and allowed Rafik Halliche to join Swansea on loan for the remainder of 2011.

 

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Deadline Day Round-up: Craig Bellamy Makes Dramatic Anfield Return

Brendan McLoughlinby Brendan McLoughlin

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Forward Craig Bellamy made Craig Bellamya dramatic deadline day return to Liverpool on Wednesday night after completing an 11th hour move from Manchester City. The Wales striker, who last season on loan at Championship side Cardiff, is back at Anfield four years after leaving the Merseyside and will wear the No. 39 shirt. QPR and Stoke had appeared in the frame to sign Bellamy earlier in the day, however the chance to return to the club where he spent a controversial year in 2007 proved too good to turn down for the 32-year-old. Bellamy's arrival was just one of a number of developments on a busy day at Anfield which saw Joe Cole snub late interest from Aston Villa to join Lille on a season-long loan, Christian Poulsen join French side Evian and David Ngog make a permanent move to Bolton. There was also one further twist with half an hour of the window remaining when it emerged Chelsea target Raul Meireles had handed in a transfer request, leaving his future on Merseyside shouded in mystery as the 11pm deadline passed. Tweeter FourSquare iPhone Manchester City completed their shock move for free agent Owen Hargreaves, with the former Manchester United midfielder arriving on a one-year contract, while Carlos Tevez has remained at the Etihad Stadium. Tottenham, too, managed to keep hold of one of their key men in Luka Modric might and, although they failed to push through a move for Bolton's Gary Cahill, they did succeed in landing Football Writers' Association Player of the Year Scott Parker in a £5 million move from West Ham. David Bentley has headed in the opposite direction on a season-long loan, while the Hammers also signed Henri Lansbury from Arsenal on a similar deal and Guy Demel from Hamburg. Two players who left Spurs, however, were Jermaine Jenas and Alan Hutton, who both joined Villa on a respective season-long loan and permanent deal. QPR signed Shaun Wright-Phillips from Manchester City and Scott Dann left Birmingham for Blackburn in a £6 million move which could rise to £8 million, while Rovers also recruited striker Yakubu from Everton. Wigan signed Shaun Maloney on a two-year deal from Celtic for £1 million as well as signing Chelsea's 21-year-old Dutch left-back Patrick van Aanholt on a season-long loan.

 

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Team of the Week: Manchester…so Much to Answer for

Jason Mellorby Jason Mellor

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So, let's have a look, shall we? Contenders for the latest FanHouse Team of the Week. Hmm, well there's probably room for a couple of Arsenal players in there, right? After all, it's not every week you go to Old Trafford and score twice is it? Hang on a minute. What's that? They conceded HOW many. Okay, scrub that. It's pretty safe to say the Gunners are gonners on this occasion. That's especially seeing as their combined merit marks as a team barely scraped past that earned by Wayne Rooney for his stunning hat-trick, which in the process took the England forward, impressive new hairline and all, past 150 goals for Manchester United. Given City's ruthless demolition of Tottenham at White Hart Lane, we can confidently predict that, as Morrissey almost once said, Manchester has so much to answer for when it comes to providing more than half of this week's outstanding individuals. Tweeter FourSquare iPhone Honourable mentions must go to Leon Best and Franco Di Santo, who each scored twice in victories for Newcastle and Wigan respectively, but joining Rooney up front is Edin Dzeko, the Bosnian finally making up for a slow start at City with a sumptuous display of forward play to help himself to four of City's five against hapless Spurs. The 6ft 3in forward's first goal was set up by Samir Nasri, who enjoyed a fruitful debut following his £24m move from Arsenal - Arsene Wenger at least given some vicarious satisfaction from seeing one of his 'finds' recognised by us this time, even though we've had to shift him over to central midfield in our line-up, when all his good work came down the left at the weekend. We're sure he won't mind.

 

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Newcastle 2 Fulham 1: Martin Jol not Best Pleased by Another Defeat

Jason Mellorby Jason Mellor

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Leon Best, Newcastle, Fiorentina, August 4, 2011Leon Best made the most of a rare start to maintain Newcastle's impressive unbeaten opening to the season with a second-half double to sink Fulham. The Republic of Ireland forward clearly likes facing London teams, with six of his eight Premier League goals for the club now having come against opposition from the capital. Alan Pardew's side never looked back once Best broke the deadlock immediately after the break, following that up with a sublime second just after the hour. Their only disappointment was missing out on a third straight Premier League clean sheet thanks to a late consolation from Clint Dempsey, Fulham's first goal in four-a-half hours of league football under Martin Jol this season, as they came up an inspired display from Newcastle keeper Tim Krul. Tweeter FourSquare iPhone THE GOALS 48mins: Mark Schwarzer pushes a shot from Yohan Cabaye onto the bar, and Best reacts first to break the deadlock from five yards (1-0) 66mins: Best takes a sublime touch to kill a low cross from substitute Demba Ba before turning to fire past Schwarzer from close range (2-0) 88mins: Dempsey's looping backward header from Danny Murphy's free-kick finds the net to ensure a nervy finish for the hosts (2-1) OTHER HIGHLIGHTS 9 mins: Peter Lovenrkands heads narrowly wide after reacting first to a scuffed shot from Cabaye. 44 mins: The first serious goal threat from either side as a header from Jonas Gutierrez forces a good low save from Schwarzer. 45 mins: A positive flurry of goalmouth activity as Schwarzer tips over a cross-shot destined for the top corner from Cabaye. 56mins: Krul saves well from Steve Sidwell's powerful header as Fulham finally pose an attacking threat. 72mins: Krul called into action again as Chris Baird works a quick free-kick to send in a dangerous shot from distance. 77mins: More heroics from Krul, this time with a stunning point-blank stop to keep out a header from Murphy which he had no right to save. 90mins: Ba's shot deflects off Aaron Hughes onto the crossbar and out for a corner. REACTION Pardew insisted his side were good value for their latest victory: "We've won three games this week and whatever level of football you're at, that's good going. We've used numerous players and they've all done a good job which is very encouraging." On goalscorer Best: "I don't think he started particularly well and you have to pay credit to Fulham for taking the sting right out of us early on. But we dealt with that, changed things a little and started to dominate. We were in control until the last 10 minutes. "Leon's a player whose trying to establish himself in the Premier League. When he's playing poorly it doesn't set him back and I never really worry about his confidence, which is something he has in abundance. He did well today, especially in the second-half. "He still has to prove himself in the Premier League. I've known him for a long time and come up against him plenty of times but for me he's never had a run where he's been able to say 'I'm the man'. He's got an opportunity to do that now." On in-comings before the transfer window closes: "There's nothing that I want to disclose now, we'll know where we are in a couple of days. It's frustrating for me. "I'm frustrated we haven't got a couple of bodies in yet. Derek (Llambias) and Mike (Ashley) are frustrated as well, and hopefully we'll get things over the line this week." On the impressive Krul: "He's the kind of keeper you know you're going to get reaction saves from, but what impressed me today was his presence. "He looked big, and came out and took a couple of crosses at the end. That was a signal that perhaps he thinks he's arrived which was a good thing." On Ba's influence from the bench: "Demba's had a tricky start to life here and he has some reasons for that which I'm not going to go into detail about, but he's a great lad and it was nice to have a positive cameo from him. All the new lads did well today, they influenced the game." On life after the departed Joey Barton: "You can't disguise the fact we've lost Joey and we need players to come out of the pack. We've got players who're ready to do that. We have the makings of some good young lads here. "Joey's a large pesonality but the club's always bigger than the individual. I enjoyed working with him and contrary to some things you hear I wish him well. "Football moves on very quickly and we've got seven points from a tough programme of three games and we're pleased with that." On the injury to substitute Haris Vuckic: "Haris looks like he has broken his hand which is a big disappointment for us." Jol bemoaned his side's lack of cutting edge: "If you create eight or nine chances away from home and some big ones at that, then you should take something from the game. "Newcastle's first chance didn't come until just before half-time but then at the start of the second-half we dropped our concentration. It's frustrating because we always knew that at home Newcastle were capable of scoring goals." On a third game of the week: "We need to realise that even though it's our third game of the week the ball never gets tired." On his compatriot Krul: "The second goal almost killed us but we came back and credit to their young goalkeeper, he's from my home town and I like him a lot. "He's had to learn his trade away on loan and he's now got his chance. In Holland they rate him as one of the top three keepers and the only thing he needs now is to get more experience. "He made good saves but I told him that if we put the ball in the corner then he doesn't have a chance. I've known him since he stated as a youngster." On his selection options: "The team's picking itself at the moment, I'm having to play my best players every week. You don't have to be great at maths to realise that after nine players left and four came in this summer we need players here at the club." WHAT IT MEANS: Joey who? Mr Barton may be gone, but life goes on for Newcastle, who improved after an insipid first-half to run out worthy winners, earning a place in the top six against a Fulham side with just a single point from their three games.

 

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Newcastle v Fulham Preview: Danny Simpson Drama Puts Football in Perspective

Jason Mellorby Jason Mellor

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PREMIER LEAGUE: ST JAMES' PARK, SUNDAY AUGUST 28, 2011. KICK-OFF 1300 BST Work this one out. Alan Pardew reckons his side had a tougher assignment at humble Scunthorpe than the one faced by Fulham in the Ukraine this week, the Iron proving more of a hurdle than the old iron curtain, so to speak. Fresh, if that is he correct term, from their near 3,000 mile round trip to see off Europa League opponents Dnipro, it's unlikely Martin Jol will concur. "We had it a lot tougher at Scunthorpe than Fulham did again Dnipro," Pardew insisted in the wake of the 2-1 extra-time Carling Cup victory over a side in the lower reaches of League One. As Newcastle start life without Joey Barton, the manager added: "I've not seen their game, but that's what I'm guessing. You've seen lots of Premier League clubs this week go away in the Carling Cup and struggle." Tweeter FourSquare iPhone It's an interesting theory from the Newcastle manager, who hopes to have the Dutch defender Erik Pieters finally on board given the defender's protracted £6.5 million move from PSV Eindhoven moves ever-closer. Whether the 23-year-old figures is up for debate, bearing in mind the continued free-kick excellence shown by Ryan Taylor, the stand-in left-back whose defending may at times be a little suspect, but whose precision from set-pieces is unquestioned, as two goals in as many matches would suggest. Maybe Pardew could compromise, by starting Pieters and bringing Taylor on, like they do with special teams in American football, at all attacking set-pieces. Key Match-Up: Shola Ameobi v Brede Hangeland: Times are changing up front at Newcastle, to such an extent now that any stab at a prospective team has to differentiate between the brothers Shola and Sammy, such has been Ameobi junior's impact this season, highlighted with the teenager's winning goal at Scunthorpe. Time for Ameobi senior to respond to the challenge, although he can expect little change out of the imposing Fulham centre-back. Form Guide: Despite Scunthorpe's best efforts in managing to achieve what neither Arsenal or Sunderland could - scoring against them - Newcastle remain unbeaten after three games in all competitions. Fulham have a single point and are yet to find the net in their two Premier League matches. Match Odds: Newcastle 11/10, Fulham 11/4, Draw 12/5

 

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